RE: a livejournal fatshionista blog post about the now infamous 'Fatties' article.

Maura Kelly's article, like all acts of willful ignorance, made me crazy-eyed, spittin' mad. Her attitude isn't just size-ist, but also classist and ableist.

I'm a fat, disabled woman. My husband is out of work at the moment, and we have to live with his parents. I get less than $700 a month for us to live on. So, I guess you can say this article had a tri-fold attack on me.

To assume that I am fat because I'm continuously shoving junk down my throat, or that I have no clue when it comes to nutrition or fitness is despicable. For many years, all I could afford was peanut butter and jelly on white bread and soups with crackers. I imagine that a huge percentage of the population is probably in that boat. Nowadays, because of my living situation, I have access to more nutritious foods. Still, I struggle, because I have to eat gluten-free, and gluten-free products can be so very expensive. Also, I would like very much to be an active person. I would love to be able to hop on a bike and take off down the road, or play softball, or catch, or volleyball or tennis or just go for a jog, or walk. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to do any of these things in many years, because I live with multiple pain disorders. I can't even stand up long enough to do a load of dishes.

With the addition of a wheelchair to my life, I've been able to get out a lot more, when we can afford it. I'm constantly aware of glares, disgusted whispers, and giggles. Waiting in line at the grocery store, more than once, I've heard people start having a conversation about "obesity" or "morbid obesity". If I'm with my husband, I'll try to come up with conversation about "morons"...but usually, in the moment, I can't get that witty brain of mine to budge, which is frustrating. Often, people will avoid making eye contact with me, or ignore me completely. Fuck 'em.

So, yeah, the article got to me. My entire childhood I was singled out to be ostracized because I was fat. My parents tried to make me a thin person, we ate a mostly strict "Fit for Life" diet, and my dad took me to the track to walk/run his exercise plan. I had 'friends', but until 8th grade, I didn't have anyone I could really trust. Moving around a lot didn't help. New and fat is so difficult. Boys that had crushes on me were always afraid to act on it publicly. I wouldn't say that I was anyone's 'secret girlfriend', but several times a boy would pick on me when he was with his friends and try to kiss me when no one else was around. Or, a friend had no problem coming over to my house to play, but they didn't want to be seen in the hall with me at school. I still have severe social phobia that I have to work through every time I have a conversation in public.

The thing is, I KNOW, I'm wonderfully awesome, and I've learned to except and cherish my curves. I know there are a lot of other females out there that haven't made it to the same place. That damaging article has probably caused hundreds of spectacular women to momentarily doubt their self-worth. This enrages me. I imagine that text set ablaze, a fire under my big fat ass to work against its esteem-crushing evil and edify big women.

I started a blog of my own, and am x-posting there.

P.S. I need to dig out my, "KNOW FAT CHICKS" button and wear it proudly.